I was thinking more about this topic and was mentally developing the essay in my head. I know exactly what I feel when it comes to this situation, and I really want to be able to portray it so others can feel it with me. There are so many emotions to be felt when I look back on my brother's sickness. The main ones are, of course, shock, sadness, anger, and grief. It may be hard for some people to understand why I feel grief, especially because my brother did not actually die. I feel grief for my brother because a part of him was in fact lost when he went through this ordeal. If a person were to meet him now, and had no idea what he had gone through 6 years ago, then they would not be able to tell that anything that happened to him. But, being his sister, I can see that he was effected, both mentally and physically. I want to emphasis this in my project. One of my main goals with this project is to get my audience to actually feel what I'm feeling through my words. Though neither my professor nor my classmates were there to experience any of this firsthand, I want them to feel as though they were.
The anger that I felt during this time is something that I am still dealing with to this day. Sometimes, I actually take my anger out on my brother, even though I know obviously nothing is his fault. I think of the way he once was and I see him now, and I sometimes want so badly for him to go back to the way he was. I feel like our relationship was effected by his illness, and thought I know it is unfair to blame anyone, I feel like sometimes I take things out on him. This aspect of his sickness is also something I want to portray in this project, because I feel like this all connects with the helplessness that a family goes through when a member is so deathly ill.
No comments:
Post a Comment